Haha I forgot I ended my first year out of 5 in UMS. It was tough. No, seriously it is tough. I mean everyday is important, every hour, every minute, every second. If you waste your time and don't manage properly, then you basically are bound to fail in your exam here, in this course. It's like you don't really have much time for drama, it's like the least is the better, I have better things to do, but yup, there will always be drama no matter where you go. Sigh...
Well, studying for a module test is just crazy haha. Then, you have to study for finals, that is the real deal and my life is just so horrible, but at the same time fulfilling as well. My life started like this from Monday to Friday... Wake up at 6 am, bath and get ready for class and it will be at 8 am. Study and goofs around till at least 5pm, sometimes we get to go back early so more nap time. I usually take my nap for at least 2 to 3 hours so maybe wake up at 7 or 8 or 9 pm LoL. Then, eat, bath, study again... till 2am or 3am... Then sleep... till 6 am and the cycle repeats for the rest of the weekday. It is really tiring but I managed that for a year.
Now is the best part, Saturday and Sunday. WEEKEND!!!! So, during weekend, I usually do my 5 days worth of laundry, give Iman a text and invitation to a movie she usually said YES and a day out to relieve my self from stress. So weekend is usually free, well I try to make use of my time as much as possible.
Now, things I can never stand peeps in my room doing. Okay, no 1 is LIGHT. I can never sleep if you turn on the light so I will have them use their study lamp, well they get that part of me. The thing is you just have to ask, if you ask then maybe we can tolerate each other, so I did I ask them if I can turn the light off. It was hard but I managed to make myself TALK and communicate with my roommates. I decided not to hide my feelings and tell them if there is something I don't like them to do. No 2 that include NOISE especially when I AM SLEEPING. Never ever make noise when I am sleeping, I just hate it and when I wake up I can't sleep again. So, I too discussed about this with roommates, so after that they stopped making noises, well, rather like LESS noise, I am so thankful so now I learned to be more outspoken. Is it the right word? i think so lol.
I think that's all I don't like what my roommates always do. The rest kalau kau nak buat apa2 pun suka hati kau jani x kacau hidup aku haha. Well. that's me. I prefer quiet and calm and peaceful surrounding. Well, I will get 2 new roommates for the next time, I gave them an early warning though lol. They seem fine so yay. I will miss my old roommates though.
Now, sad moment... When I failed my exam, actually it's a module test but I failed... And I can't accept it and I became sad like shit. Then, I changed my habit and study style. I became better after that. At least, I managed to past my module test the next time. Then, the JPA thing. Shockingly, I didn't get my scholarship which my other frends got. Some of u didnt get also. I was shocked. And sad. My mind is not at its best. I have bad thoughts around me. I knew it was wrong but I can't stop thinking bout it. Something like, why does she gets it, why didnt i have it, not fair, even someone like that got it, why didnt i. I can't believe i actually had such mind. It is juz so scary to think that I am engulfed by darkness juz like that. My parents knew and my mom scolded me saying i shud apply more scholarship before this. So, i got reli pissed off. And juz dun have the mood, we juz finish our 2nd module test btw... Then , my dad texted me and what he said was really touching... "It's okay if you don't get a scholarship, Dad can still work, you just study ok" I reli cried after reading it, I juz can't accept such kindness from my parents. I juz dun want to be a burden to my parents, even coming to asasi ums, the first thing that crossed my mind is, ohhh money, it must cost a lot to go there, that i decided to go to matriks but my dad has his way to make me go to sabah, so i went to sabah and continued studying there. And yup, I reli dun like accepting parent's money, bcos I know it is hard to get them. Sometimes, i juz feel like quitting study and work. But, dad said go as far as your feet can take u. So, i listened to him and here i am, quite far... The last time I cried is getting scolded by lecturer... He said we complained too much during our presentation and we are no more than a GARBAGE... I couldn't do anything and as an appointed leader I felt like I let down my group... I cried after that and yeah it sucked. I am no garbage. I will prove it to him.
I think there is so many things to talk about in one year... Maybe i continue later... Hahaha later k... Oooo no pictures.... Hahaha nvm.... Next post ~
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