Yes. I am a grenade. I can relate to her when she said about reducing the number of casualties. It's just like me. I prefer not getting too close to anyone although I wanted to. I just know that when I explode, time is not stopping, it's not waiting, and the people around me are not ready for that. Sometimes, I hope that I am an orphan and have no parents. Yes, I know it is bad to wish for something like that, but sometimes I do. Sometimes...
If I am orphan, then I don't have any bonds or ties with people. Then, nobody will get hurt. I will just hurt myself and it's fine as long as it is me, better me than them. Better to get hurt by yourself, than hurting others. I won't have anything to lose. So, it's a good thing for me actually.
I guess I care for the people around me somehow. Yes, I do. Maybe when I explode, I will do it somewhere far and you won't hear from me anymore. It's better that way. I can carry this alone, like I used to.
But I guess it is tougher for them, having me around must be challenging. It's tough being a kid with cancer, but tougher for the parents with kid having cancer. Shouldn't you hate me for it? You should. Then, I will be on my way. I will leave and follow the endless road of nothingness. You shouldn't care for me, it makes things harder for me. Just hate me already. Stop acting nice. This world is the worst place ever. With pleasure, there comes pain. Pain demands to be felt. My pain is demanding it now. But nobody will know my pain. No one.
I am still ticking. And now, I have more ties and bonds. How many will get hurt? How many will help? How many will hate? Most importantly, how many will understand?
No comments:
Post a Comment