Let's see... I never tell anyone before but yeah I think they know hahahaha~
1. Be taller than me. Nothing is better than a tip toe.
2. Wear a black spec. Nothing arouses me better than a pair of glasses. Nerds are so my type.
3. Be a Chinese. Hahahaha~ Kidding. I like Korean. But Malay also can whatever race you are.
4. Be stylish. I just enjoy watching people walking in style.
5. Be yourself. I like someone who act serious but actually is not. I think it is cute.
6. Be animal lover. Hating animals are like hating me. You hurt me...
7. Be nice. I don't know how. Your judgement.
8. Be someone I can look up to. I want to admire you for who you are. Don't be a jerk.
9. Be clean and neat. Because I am not so at least you can scold me when we live together~
10. Last but not least. No secret between us. All of you are all of me.
Well
ehemmmm... This is just the criterias I am sure everyone wants but
yeah... These are all but fantasies. Nobody can fit into these and
magically fall in love with you. So, I don't expect much. But, if
someone really approach me and say something unexpected, my answer could
surprise you. But be honest with your feeling. This relationship is not
an easy one to be in. We will have much to face in the future.
Music suggestion: Go for #GrandPiano #NickiMinaj
And
I change the design to pink because I hate pink. Just kidding, just
wanna try be girly a lil bit haha. I find it disturbing but at the same
time cute.... K bye~~~~~
Thursday, 19 February 2015
The End of My Holiday
Yup. It's ending and I have a week to prepare for my exam which I think I have high probability of failing... Kidding. I hope I pass. But I have to study first I guess... Well, whatever. I pretty much enjoyed this holiday as much as possible. So, when the semester starts, I hope I am ready to be back with pressure on my back.
Well, to sum up what I did for my holiday. Let's see... Karaoke. Yes, I went singing. Of course my voice is not that nice but if compared to others you would want to hear me sings. Movie. Hmmmmm... Not much did I watch this time. Boring... And Sleepover. Yes it is awkward. I don't know what people do during sleepover so it is so random but we had fun. And porn too... Kidding~ And report too, well parts of it. I did my part but others gave shit... Some of them just gave shit, like okay...
Well, for this semester. It will be a new one. I expect new challenges, new drama, and of course new crush. Hahahaha... Okay, enough with that. I have a flight to catch in like less than 2 days. So, gotta pack and I still have much to do... Kinda sad to leave home again. I hate this feeling but it must be done. I am like Nico Robin, left for 2 years and come back stronger. Yes, I will come back in another 3 years time and be better than today. I will know more, be better at what I should. And be a better and bigger slut of course.
So, goodbye my dear hometown. I hate you anyway. Hahaha. Okay too much laughing in one night. But yes, just a reminder for me. I am walking towards the darkside. I am totally fine with it... I think. Well, they say take care of your own grave. Byeeeeeeeeee~
And for music suggestion. Go for #WhatKindOfMan #FlorenceAndTheMachine I just hate MenS these days. They are so annoying.
Well, to sum up what I did for my holiday. Let's see... Karaoke. Yes, I went singing. Of course my voice is not that nice but if compared to others you would want to hear me sings. Movie. Hmmmmm... Not much did I watch this time. Boring... And Sleepover. Yes it is awkward. I don't know what people do during sleepover so it is so random but we had fun. And porn too... Kidding~ And report too, well parts of it. I did my part but others gave shit... Some of them just gave shit, like okay...
Well, for this semester. It will be a new one. I expect new challenges, new drama, and of course new crush. Hahahaha... Okay, enough with that. I have a flight to catch in like less than 2 days. So, gotta pack and I still have much to do... Kinda sad to leave home again. I hate this feeling but it must be done. I am like Nico Robin, left for 2 years and come back stronger. Yes, I will come back in another 3 years time and be better than today. I will know more, be better at what I should. And be a better and bigger slut of course.
So, goodbye my dear hometown. I hate you anyway. Hahaha. Okay too much laughing in one night. But yes, just a reminder for me. I am walking towards the darkside. I am totally fine with it... I think. Well, they say take care of your own grave. Byeeeeeeeeee~
And for music suggestion. Go for #WhatKindOfMan #FlorenceAndTheMachine I just hate MenS these days. They are so annoying.
Monday, 16 February 2015
If I have a crush on you?
What should I do?
1. Stalk you. which requires internet. Never waste your data for stalking.
2. Find your FB and IG. I need your name at least that. Which I usually do.
3. Secretly stare at you.Your butt especially. Vital part.
4. Never have a direct eye contact. I always get nervous and stare at the floor.
5. If we are close, I probably will confess. But you will probably reject me. Yup.
6. If not, it will remain a crush. Unless you like me too AHAHAHA. which rarely happen. Actually it never happen :( Nobody is emotionally attached to me except myself...
7. The cycle repeats until I get myself someone that really wants me or do nasty things with me. Errrrrrkkkkkk....
1. Stalk you. which requires internet. Never waste your data for stalking.
2. Find your FB and IG. I need your name at least that. Which I usually do.
3. Secretly stare at you.Your butt especially. Vital part.
4. Never have a direct eye contact. I always get nervous and stare at the floor.
5. If we are close, I probably will confess. But you will probably reject me. Yup.
6. If not, it will remain a crush. Unless you like me too AHAHAHA. which rarely happen. Actually it never happen :( Nobody is emotionally attached to me except myself...
7. The cycle repeats until I get myself someone that really wants me or do nasty things with me. Errrrrrkkkkkk....
I thought nobody would... But someone did.
Well, as usual, it is a fine day for me. Waking up and not even doing anything meaningful for life which I hope I don't regret for next week. Well, I am a person, not perfect, with too many flaws to even start with but I get used to it. It's not bad but I guess people won't be much interested with me. Okay, to say I am getting used to it is a lie. I never get used to it. I have to live with it, with all these flaws. They are like family members. You can't choose your family.
So, I have a very low self esteem. Like really low. During primary school, I was okay. I mean I didn't join much thing but I was fine. But when you get to secondary school, hell starts. Yeah, I mean I don't dare to do a lot of stuffs. I can't even talk to a person. There is this one guy who took my PJ shirts because I left it somewhere so you can consider me to be a quite successful secret agent because I actually trace the class that I was in and used that information to look for the culprit. Well, yeah he did took my shirts and pants too!! And then, what I did was look for the plastic bag that I put my shirt in before I lost it. Guess what? I waited at a higher ground. Yes, I did not found the culprit. And as I was going to leave, I saw the plastic bag, someone took it and is walking back. I was like OMG, it is mine... What do I do? I don't even have the guts to ask it. But in the end I did. I talked to him awkwardly like I am at fault or something. He returned it to me the next day. I am kinda glad I did what I must. Well, never I leave stuffs again after that haha.
But, that is not the main story. The main story is about me being me. Imperfect. I have my flaws, too many to count. So, this is where it gets boring because I will talk about love and all but hear me out. Well, I was in this restaurant with bunch of friends. Yeah, never expect someone that that I actually said cute would be there. So, when I saw them, I was like ohhh shit... Who invited them? I am not mentally ready for this. OMG! Yeah, I can't even look them in the eyes. That feeling of nervous really got me like please don't talk to me, go talk with someone else. So, we just shook hands and smiled. Yes, nothing bad happened.
Yeah right. Nothing bad happened. But my friends revealed a conversation took place a long while ago. A year back or two. Guess what? One of them would literally do something I should not mention here but yes, one of them did say it. That is according to my friend who was there. I was like awwwwwwwwwwww that is nice. Nobody said that to me before. I mean, showing such level of interest... I don't get that much. Although, what that person said is actually considered as sexual harassment but that is the nicest thing you could ever say to me. I felt like wow, someone would do that to me, okay. I don't mind at all.
So, the thing here is, I just feel better about myself. This is like yeah, someone out there is interested with me. Although I am not sure if it is 100% true and honest, I am going to keep that in my mind. It will keep me going. I feel better now that my life couldn't be that bad, I just have to wait. It will come, eventually. It's like haha, I can't describe it. Those words may seem like a slut to most of you. But for someone like me, who has been craving this kind of thing, at least a tiny bit of it. It meant a lot to know I can be attractive to someone, not to most people but maybe to some. Just maybe...
So, okay, that is all for tonight. I just wanna say that love is a wonderful thing. Don't give up on hope and wonderful things will come to you, you just have to wait. I will wait. Even if I die waiting, it's okay. Maybe in another life.
So, I have a very low self esteem. Like really low. During primary school, I was okay. I mean I didn't join much thing but I was fine. But when you get to secondary school, hell starts. Yeah, I mean I don't dare to do a lot of stuffs. I can't even talk to a person. There is this one guy who took my PJ shirts because I left it somewhere so you can consider me to be a quite successful secret agent because I actually trace the class that I was in and used that information to look for the culprit. Well, yeah he did took my shirts and pants too!! And then, what I did was look for the plastic bag that I put my shirt in before I lost it. Guess what? I waited at a higher ground. Yes, I did not found the culprit. And as I was going to leave, I saw the plastic bag, someone took it and is walking back. I was like OMG, it is mine... What do I do? I don't even have the guts to ask it. But in the end I did. I talked to him awkwardly like I am at fault or something. He returned it to me the next day. I am kinda glad I did what I must. Well, never I leave stuffs again after that haha.
But, that is not the main story. The main story is about me being me. Imperfect. I have my flaws, too many to count. So, this is where it gets boring because I will talk about love and all but hear me out. Well, I was in this restaurant with bunch of friends. Yeah, never expect someone that that I actually said cute would be there. So, when I saw them, I was like ohhh shit... Who invited them? I am not mentally ready for this. OMG! Yeah, I can't even look them in the eyes. That feeling of nervous really got me like please don't talk to me, go talk with someone else. So, we just shook hands and smiled. Yes, nothing bad happened.
Yeah right. Nothing bad happened. But my friends revealed a conversation took place a long while ago. A year back or two. Guess what? One of them would literally do something I should not mention here but yes, one of them did say it. That is according to my friend who was there. I was like awwwwwwwwwwww that is nice. Nobody said that to me before. I mean, showing such level of interest... I don't get that much. Although, what that person said is actually considered as sexual harassment but that is the nicest thing you could ever say to me. I felt like wow, someone would do that to me, okay. I don't mind at all.
So, the thing here is, I just feel better about myself. This is like yeah, someone out there is interested with me. Although I am not sure if it is 100% true and honest, I am going to keep that in my mind. It will keep me going. I feel better now that my life couldn't be that bad, I just have to wait. It will come, eventually. It's like haha, I can't describe it. Those words may seem like a slut to most of you. But for someone like me, who has been craving this kind of thing, at least a tiny bit of it. It meant a lot to know I can be attractive to someone, not to most people but maybe to some. Just maybe...
So, okay, that is all for tonight. I just wanna say that love is a wonderful thing. Don't give up on hope and wonderful things will come to you, you just have to wait. I will wait. Even if I die waiting, it's okay. Maybe in another life.
Friday, 13 February 2015
Confessions... I have 3 left? OMG
So, it's Valentine's day tomorrow... May it be filled with love and more love. Okay, so in this post I am going to talk about love. Actually, just my 6 confessions haha. Like a cat, I have nine lives, so 3 more confessions to go.
Okay, so my first confession is a very special one although it is trhrough text message. That person managed to make me do something like that. Me, confessing my love? I never knew I could do it. But, that person is special enough to get me out of my comfort zone. I actually went crazy for a while, like 3 months haha. It was hard. Well, so I get a reply and it said "No weird feeling, just friends" Actually that is from the second confession to the same person. So, my first and second confession is for that person. I hated that person but in the end we are cool. I mean I tried my best not to have any conversation but I smiled if we crossed path.
Next, is my third and fourth confession to another person but yes. These two confessions are supposed to be done like 5 years ago. But oh well, I was still young back then haha. So, I did these two via FB like OMG haha. I don't even know why I did it... Okay, maybe due to the first confession, that it leads to thses horrible turns of events. Hmmm... But we are cool now. I think haha. Well, but my slut level went up and I am even more sluttier than I should be. This leads to the next two confessions. Moving on~
Okay my fourth and fifth confessions... Hmmm... Well, these are quite complicated. It's not about looks. More like "Hey, I like your personality and the person you are" But, we knew each other for quite a while. A year or so. Not to consider best friends but close acquaintance. I mean we hang out in a group. So, can't really avoid each other. After the confessions, I was rejected... Twice aigooooooo ~ Why ~ Well, now I am sad for having to talk about this. Okay, and then things happen. I get emo and refuse to talk to that person. I don't know why. So, I think we are okay now... I mean do I still have feelings for you? Maybe a lil bit... But it will be over. Like the last two persons. If it starts, it will end. I mean it is reducing. The content of my love for you. Yes, it is reducing. I will try to like develop new crush.
Okay, just a lil bit about crush. Sometimes you just wanna forget about that person. So, a crush and new people really helps. Find someone cute and be like "OMG that is so cute" or "Let's follow that ass" and yeah it helps me. Well, not everytime. Sometime, you will have this "I HATE U" and start to be like emo and stuffs. So, let it go. We have to, after a certain amount of time. We will.
So, that would be all about my tragic love life. I don't post much. So, enjoy my story to make me a bigger slut than you. Night people and Sad or Happy Valentine to all.
Okay, so my first confession is a very special one although it is trhrough text message. That person managed to make me do something like that. Me, confessing my love? I never knew I could do it. But, that person is special enough to get me out of my comfort zone. I actually went crazy for a while, like 3 months haha. It was hard. Well, so I get a reply and it said "No weird feeling, just friends" Actually that is from the second confession to the same person. So, my first and second confession is for that person. I hated that person but in the end we are cool. I mean I tried my best not to have any conversation but I smiled if we crossed path.
Next, is my third and fourth confession to another person but yes. These two confessions are supposed to be done like 5 years ago. But oh well, I was still young back then haha. So, I did these two via FB like OMG haha. I don't even know why I did it... Okay, maybe due to the first confession, that it leads to thses horrible turns of events. Hmmm... But we are cool now. I think haha. Well, but my slut level went up and I am even more sluttier than I should be. This leads to the next two confessions. Moving on~
Okay my fourth and fifth confessions... Hmmm... Well, these are quite complicated. It's not about looks. More like "Hey, I like your personality and the person you are" But, we knew each other for quite a while. A year or so. Not to consider best friends but close acquaintance. I mean we hang out in a group. So, can't really avoid each other. After the confessions, I was rejected... Twice aigooooooo ~ Why ~ Well, now I am sad for having to talk about this. Okay, and then things happen. I get emo and refuse to talk to that person. I don't know why. So, I think we are okay now... I mean do I still have feelings for you? Maybe a lil bit... But it will be over. Like the last two persons. If it starts, it will end. I mean it is reducing. The content of my love for you. Yes, it is reducing. I will try to like develop new crush.
Okay, just a lil bit about crush. Sometimes you just wanna forget about that person. So, a crush and new people really helps. Find someone cute and be like "OMG that is so cute" or "Let's follow that ass" and yeah it helps me. Well, not everytime. Sometime, you will have this "I HATE U" and start to be like emo and stuffs. So, let it go. We have to, after a certain amount of time. We will.
So, that would be all about my tragic love life. I don't post much. So, enjoy my story to make me a bigger slut than you. Night people and Sad or Happy Valentine to all.
Sunday, 8 February 2015
Relationship? Couple?
I am a fan of being in a relationship but sadly I can't find myself being even in any of it. Well, I know why. so it is kinda sad to be alone, sometimes. i mean, it feels nice if you have someone besides your family to care for you. now, i am like smeagle or smeargle from the Lord of The Rings... it's like i have a split personality. he is like taking care of me most of the time. i don't really depend on others unless i really need to. it's kinda sad as well. i wished i can be weak, so that someone can help me get up. but no, when i am weak, he will be the one to pull me back up, he is me. i have to do it. it's like " this is not the time to break down, get up now " and i would be like " it is just so hard, can i even do this ". " yes you can, you are not alone, i am here with you " that "i" is me too. i think i am using some psychology stuffs on myself. it had always been like that. how do you think i survive on my own for 20 years.
so i don't know. i am like single and still nobody could possibly like me haha. it's okay. i remembered one line from HIMYM. She said "That person is out there, that person is running as fast as possible to meet you". Something like that... So, i kinda believe that maybe... just maybe i can wait. i will wait for that person.
so i don't know. i am like single and still nobody could possibly like me haha. it's okay. i remembered one line from HIMYM. She said "That person is out there, that person is running as fast as possible to meet you". Something like that... So, i kinda believe that maybe... just maybe i can wait. i will wait for that person.
Choose Your Music?
Music. It is one thing i can't really live without. When someone played it, i just have to feel something. if you play something soft and calming, i will be reminded of the good times that i had. all of them memories just come back to you. one reason why i like piano. the music that comes from the piano is just beautiful. i wanna learn to play it if i can but i don't really have the time for it. maybe if i know someone that can play it, that would be nice. now i kinda want to have someone special that can play piano, not asking for too much? it would be nice to wake up hearing someone playing the piano. maybe if i know the music, i can sing along. although my singing is not one could call great or nice to hear but it is still okay. i hope if i have to have someone special in my life, let that person be the one that caught me in the web of tunes that are being played. i would be a willing victim to these tunes. maybe someday. i doubt that but you know something, my other self always said to me " you gotta keep dreaming, it's not wrong, although you might hurt yourself by dreaming of something that seems so impossible, keep doing it, the future is so uncertain that anything could happen ". so here i am, dreaming of something that is quite unlikely to happen. but the music will keep on playing, as i live, as i breath, as i see the world, as i hear, and till i die. the music will always be there, the music will always be with me, through the music i feel pain, i feel sorrow, i feel happiness and sadness too. many emotions can be felt by any person through music.
so, choose your music. there are so many genres and mine are usually the style that is so dark and full with sorrow but at the end of the day it is happiness that the music played. it must end happily, all of us must always make sure that life is not just about the darkness and sorrow, it is about happiness too. having those bad and negative emotions are making the good feeling that comes right after more worth it. don't you think? something great in life is not attained easily, it takes time and efforts to achieve a greater happiness. so, i hope i can do that now. i hope i can get through this storm of darkness and sorrow and find the light of happiness hidden deep inside. if it's not there, then we'll keep looking, or we will create one for ourselves.
With this, i think i went from music to finding life partner, and to dream and find light at the end of the tunnel I am always living in. but once in a while, you find light, you always do...
so, choose your music. there are so many genres and mine are usually the style that is so dark and full with sorrow but at the end of the day it is happiness that the music played. it must end happily, all of us must always make sure that life is not just about the darkness and sorrow, it is about happiness too. having those bad and negative emotions are making the good feeling that comes right after more worth it. don't you think? something great in life is not attained easily, it takes time and efforts to achieve a greater happiness. so, i hope i can do that now. i hope i can get through this storm of darkness and sorrow and find the light of happiness hidden deep inside. if it's not there, then we'll keep looking, or we will create one for ourselves.
With this, i think i went from music to finding life partner, and to dream and find light at the end of the tunnel I am always living in. but once in a while, you find light, you always do...
Tuesday, 3 February 2015
It's Been A While...
It's been a while now... many things have happened. well too many actually haha. hmmm so where do i start? let's start with health promotion huhu.
so yes, health promotion. i was chosen as the leader for group 8... i don't know why people make me do it but it felt nice to be in control you know. it's like a video game. but it comes with burden and responsibility. you don't know how much pressure i was put in. i have to think for like most of the things... thx god i have heatty, she is like the best member i have ever met. then, imagine how tiring it was... but i guess everyone had it rough in their own way. i am glad that all of us act like adults. okay, maybe at certain times we may have some bad times but in the end it's all good. it's all part of the process of getting mature. not to say that i am mature but i am going that way... slowly...
i learned a lot too in the process. i saw a real live pig haha. but cooking... not so much haha. but i am kinda glad that i managed to survive that 2 weeks and got along with others in the process. so thx u members of group 8. no matter what you did in the past, got me angry or annoyed. i don't dwell in the past much unless i have a crush on you then maybe i could get moody suddenly haha.
but yeah, i got scolded too and that wasn't nice... but i should try to get used to it. i mean in this field, i should expect getting scold. actually, any field at all. medical officers get scold. u working as whatever also will get scolding, there is no escaping. it is like getting scold by teacher but this time you are old enough to understand and do something about it.
so health promotion is like that haha... nothing much to write...
so yes, health promotion. i was chosen as the leader for group 8... i don't know why people make me do it but it felt nice to be in control you know. it's like a video game. but it comes with burden and responsibility. you don't know how much pressure i was put in. i have to think for like most of the things... thx god i have heatty, she is like the best member i have ever met. then, imagine how tiring it was... but i guess everyone had it rough in their own way. i am glad that all of us act like adults. okay, maybe at certain times we may have some bad times but in the end it's all good. it's all part of the process of getting mature. not to say that i am mature but i am going that way... slowly...
i learned a lot too in the process. i saw a real live pig haha. but cooking... not so much haha. but i am kinda glad that i managed to survive that 2 weeks and got along with others in the process. so thx u members of group 8. no matter what you did in the past, got me angry or annoyed. i don't dwell in the past much unless i have a crush on you then maybe i could get moody suddenly haha.
but yeah, i got scolded too and that wasn't nice... but i should try to get used to it. i mean in this field, i should expect getting scold. actually, any field at all. medical officers get scold. u working as whatever also will get scolding, there is no escaping. it is like getting scold by teacher but this time you are old enough to understand and do something about it.
so health promotion is like that haha... nothing much to write...
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