Relationship? Couple?

I am a fan of being in a relationship but sadly I can't find myself being even in any of it. Well, I know why. so it is kinda sad to be alone, sometimes. i mean, it feels nice if you have someone besides your family to care for you. now, i am like smeagle or smeargle from the Lord of The Rings... it's like i have a split personality. he is like taking care of me most of the time. i don't really depend on others unless i really need to. it's kinda sad as well. i wished i can be weak, so that someone can help me get up. but no, when i am weak, he will be the one to pull me back up, he is me. i have to do it. it's like " this is not the time to break down, get up now " and i would be like " it is just so hard, can i even do this ". " yes you can, you are not alone, i am here with you " that "i" is me too. i think i am using some psychology stuffs on myself. it had always been like that. how do you think i survive on my own for 20 years.

so i don't know. i am like single and still nobody could possibly like me haha. it's okay. i remembered one line from HIMYM. She said "That person is out there, that person is running as fast as possible to meet you". Something like that... So, i kinda believe that maybe... just maybe i can wait. i will wait for that person.