Well, as usual, it is a fine day for me. Waking up and not even doing anything meaningful for life which I hope I don't regret for next week. Well, I am a person, not perfect, with too many flaws to even start with but I get used to it. It's not bad but I guess people won't be much interested with me. Okay, to say I am getting used to it is a lie. I never get used to it. I have to live with it, with all these flaws. They are like family members. You can't choose your family.
So, I have a very low self esteem. Like really low. During primary school, I was okay. I mean I didn't join much thing but I was fine. But when you get to secondary school, hell starts. Yeah, I mean I don't dare to do a lot of stuffs. I can't even talk to a person. There is this one guy who took my PJ shirts because I left it somewhere so you can consider me to be a quite successful secret agent because I actually trace the class that I was in and used that information to look for the culprit. Well, yeah he did took my shirts and pants too!! And then, what I did was look for the plastic bag that I put my shirt in before I lost it. Guess what? I waited at a higher ground. Yes, I did not found the culprit. And as I was going to leave, I saw the plastic bag, someone took it and is walking back. I was like OMG, it is mine... What do I do? I don't even have the guts to ask it. But in the end I did. I talked to him awkwardly like I am at fault or something. He returned it to me the next day. I am kinda glad I did what I must. Well, never I leave stuffs again after that haha.
But, that is not the main story. The main story is about me being me. Imperfect. I have my flaws, too many to count. So, this is where it gets boring because I will talk about love and all but hear me out. Well, I was in this restaurant with bunch of friends. Yeah, never expect someone that that I actually said cute would be there. So, when I saw them, I was like ohhh shit... Who invited them? I am not mentally ready for this. OMG! Yeah, I can't even look them in the eyes. That feeling of nervous really got me like please don't talk to me, go talk with someone else. So, we just shook hands and smiled. Yes, nothing bad happened.
Yeah right. Nothing bad happened. But my friends revealed a conversation took place a long while ago. A year back or two. Guess what? One of them would literally do something I should not mention here but yes, one of them did say it. That is according to my friend who was there. I was like awwwwwwwwwwww that is nice. Nobody said that to me before. I mean, showing such level of interest... I don't get that much. Although, what that person said is actually considered as sexual harassment but that is the nicest thing you could ever say to me. I felt like wow, someone would do that to me, okay. I don't mind at all.
So, the thing here is, I just feel better about myself. This is like yeah, someone out there is interested with me. Although I am not sure if it is 100% true and honest, I am going to keep that in my mind. It will keep me going. I feel better now that my life couldn't be that bad, I just have to wait. It will come, eventually. It's like haha, I can't describe it. Those words may seem like a slut to most of you. But for someone like me, who has been craving this kind of thing, at least a tiny bit of it. It meant a lot to know I can be attractive to someone, not to most people but maybe to some. Just maybe...
So, okay, that is all for tonight. I just wanna say that love is a wonderful thing. Don't give up on hope and wonderful things will come to you, you just have to wait. I will wait. Even if I die waiting, it's okay. Maybe in another life.
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