Jealousy is normal but towards my own brother. Errrr...
Yes, I have been feeling a bit jealous now I guess. I mean, I am just jealous I guess.
It has been a while now but nothing heavy. It's just that I don't remember being close to my parents as he is doing now which I think is good since my parents probably will hate me sooner or later. Inevitable I guess.
I can expect it to be worst soon when he grows up older. This jealousy will grow too. I don't know how it will end but it will have an ending.
I'll do my best to have positive thoughts. "I am positive I am going to be jealous"
Watching Inside Out actually makes me wonder, I never have that kind of connections with my parents. My family island is different. I never got the chance to cry about something and have someone comfort me. Sometimes I wished I could just cry but I was all alone and the only person to comfort me is me. My sadness will be comforted by me and it has been that way since young. No reason to change that. I guess that is what I am jealous of, my brother having a closer relationship with my parents but I am glad they had that connection which I couldn't give. They deserve to have those connections with a son since I am such a sissy, I can't really identify myself clearly as to what I am. It can be concluded that I am the Riley that left San Fransisco in an alternate ending of the story. Ughhh why is it so hard? I am sure I picked the wrong cards when I was dead and revived again. But yeah, I am like sad for a while and then happy again and sad again that it is a cycle. I am totally inside out.
So, I am not sure how this jealousy will affect me but I am sure things will work out fine. It is Joy typing I guess.
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