Raya is not that fun?

Well, this year is not that fun. I mean a lot had happened. Grandpa had to cut his leg off. My aunt's dad passed away and yeah it's quite dull this year. The raya when we had fun is kinda lost. It is boring like really but I guess there is always next year.

Well many things happened and for my family, it is very challenging. Each of us are being tested. My grandpa especially, cutting his leg off, and I felt bad not being able to help. I really do want to help. Watching him being helpless at times really hurts me. I wished I could do something. I don't even know how to carry him when he needs support. I have a lot to learn. So, maybe this will be one of my cause to be better in what I am doing.

Grandma is not doing that well herself. She can barely see. I am worried of her sometimes. I saw her making lunch, sardin masak sambal. And I saw her having a hard time when cooking, I wished I could have offer myself to be of a service. I hope I can help her do the cooking, she just have to tell me what to do. But I couldn't do it, it is there, the feeling of wanting to help but I didn't. I don't know why. It kinda hurts me to see her doing the chores sometimes.

My aunt lose her dad too like 3 days before raya. It must be hard for her. I hope she will be fine. I mean the man died due to lung cancer. Smoking? Yeah, reminded me of my dad... I hope nothing happen to him. Please be fine, dad. I don't know how to deal with death. Not sure if I should cry or not cry when the time comes.

And I want to comment on some stuffs that ticked me off. My uncle that sent cats to my grandma's place... Like seriously, you can't just pass the responsibility just like that. It is very selfish. Knowing that the house itself is not really that suitable for more cats. He should be more conscious and responsible. Please don't be selfish. This, I don't like. He's not thinking using his brain. Sorry to say this dear uncle but it is what I think about you now. Selfish. With grandma and grandpa's states and conditions make you a very selfish person.

I guess that is all that I wanted to share. Raya is about gathering and forgiving the people. But, I just found out more problems that happened in my family. I hope we can resolve these.