LurhkaF

 This is hard to say and I’m even more anxious to type it but I can’t ignore this feeling no longer. Let the truth of my words free me from the lingering doubt. 

It started when I first saw you when you came to W9 to review patient as O&G peri. The first thought that crossed my mind was “Who is that guy?”. I just thought to myself “He looks cute” and never have I thought that we would ever be in the same posting until Orthopaedic. 

It was a few days before I got into Ortho and I was in medical peri that I saw you in Ortho. My heart was very excited but it’s all in my head. We were wearing black too on that same day and the ortho MO mistaken me for you. And then the excitement is just built up and I was very excited to get into ortho. 

And then a lot happened in Ortho, I tried my best not to show any feelings towards you but how can I even hide my excitement when it’s just us two having lunch and dinner together. It was so hard to contain that feeling. And everything was fine until I get super jealous when you got close with this one girl… I know I know… So stupid to get jealous but I did. And I literally became cold towards you after that. I can’t even hide my expression but we are all wearing facemask so… And that same day we had to be in the same OT room stuck with each other with me trying my best to act normal with all the feelings jumbling each other. “I’m just tired” is like the dumbest answer I have ever gave when you ask me if I’m okay. Obviously not okay. 

And then the feelings became dormant, I told myself “I have moved on” but who am I lying to? Then we were brought together in Paeds. Not really into working together at that time because I know it will stir up that dormant feelings. And even when we are not really seeing each other on a daily basis. The feelings came back. I kept saying no and no but it eventually becomes “I can’t deny this thing”. And now I’m back to square one. 

And that leads to the present. It takes a lot of courage to do this. I am not sure what would be your respond but I know I am ready to find out when I type this “Confession”. 

Ps: Please don’t show this to others as you shared my almost going to confess voice note. I still can’t believe you told everyone. 👶🏻 And this blog is dead so nobody even read it anymore. You are the only audience for this. 

From: Me to You